It was about six years ago now that my wife came down with severe health complications. At first, we couldn’t even get a diagnosis. She had experienced severe menstruation pain in the past and had had a hysterectomy. Now, we were being told she had a disease called Interstitial Cystitis, known as “painful bladder syndrome.” There’s no cure for it. Most women receive injections or rescue treatments, and the disease can go into remission and they can live pain-free. Unfortunately, nothing seemed to work for my wife. She had debilitating pain every day. We tried a variety of treatments and went to all the “ologists” to no avail.
We ended up taking an 8-hour trip to the Cleveland Clinic. We felt like we were going on this holistic journey to get my wife some pain relief. A few years later, she was still in pain. We tried to get her into the Mayo Clinic, but she was denied. She ended up having another surgical procedure. By this point, she was in so much pain she couldn’t walk without a walker. She was deteriorating before our eyes.
Someone told us about a surgeon in Phoenix. We ended up borrowing an RV, and my wife, my kids, my mother-in-law and I set off toward Arizona. My wife ended up having another surgery, and this time it was successful! A day later, she was still pain-free! We thought the worst was behind us, but as we left the hospital, she started having different symptoms. This time, it wasn’t bladder pain. It was blurred vision, migraines that wouldn’t stop, more difficulty walking. Long story short, she ended up with a spinal leak. The anesthesiologist punctured her spinal membrane, and that sent us into a whole new tailspin.
She was readmitted to the hospital. Another procedure was performed. But the new symptoms persisted. She spent 12 more days in a hospital in Peoria, Illinois. We finally had to rent a hospital bed and put it in our living room. For 17 months, she could not use the stairs, could not get to our bedroom.
We were so broken. Our teenage daughter fell behind in school from helping to care for her mom, and we had to pull her out in her junior year. It felt like everything was unraveling. Meanwhile, we were still pastoring our church, shepherding our flock. All we could do was dig deep and trust God. I clung to Isaiah 41:10, “Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with My victorious right hand.”
Our church was so supportive during this five-year storm. Obviously, we wouldn’t have made it without God, but we also wouldn’t have made it without God’s people. Our church family rallied behind us. They set up meal trains, they raised funds to help with prescriptions and medical costs, they dropped off gift cards, and a few families “adopted” our family. I get emotional when I think about it. They made sure our kids had Christmases two times during these last 17 months of not knowing what was wrong with my wife. Our staff did whatever was needed. They literally held up our arms. They helped with rides to and from school and doctor’s appointments. Whatever was needed, they were there. God through them said, “I got this!”
Pastors wonder what we sowed into our church that caused us to reap such a harvest of love and support in our time of need. I believe one reason was that we built the church with core values. We say, “We’re better together. Don’t do life alone. We’re created for community.” Another is that we really encourage people to get involved in the church. Community goes beyond worship and the Word. It includes praying for one another, dropping off a meal, visiting with someone, just being present.
We realized quickly when this health crisis hit our lives that as pastors, we have to practice what we preach. We know what we would counsel somebody else going through this kind of trouble to do. We had to listen to our own advice, to practice what we’ve preached. This helped me make the choice to get up and move forward, to trust God in my pain. I was going to use my pain as a platform. I was going to be willing, even though I was broken, to allow the Holy Spirit to minister to me.
David encouraged himself in the Lord. Sometimes we need to do that too. There were times in this season that my wife had a better attitude than I did. I was frustrated and angry. I felt like everything was unraveling. There were multiple times she texted me to say, “Hey, you need to worship. Go on a run. Put on some worship music. Get that garment of praise that lifts the spirit of heaviness.” And then I would even when I didn’t feel like it. It was a sacrifice of praise.
When you are in a season of suffering, you have two choices: You can run away from God or run to God. Running away from God doesn’t make it better or change your circumstances. It’s not going to improve your situation. It only make things worse. But when you run to God you’re running to the Rescuer. You’re running to the only One who can sustain you in your suffering.
Eventually, we went to a new neurologist who told us to do the opposite of what every other doctor said to do: “Get out of that bed. You can’t stay there. Be intentional and walk with that walker. Walk every day in your house.” We began to do that, and then she went to aquatic therapy and physical therapy. She began to walk! Then she had another surgical procedure. It’s been over two years now since we ditched the walker and the hospital bed. My wife is walking again, driving again, back in church almost every week again, going to Planet Fitness with my daughter. This has become a huge testimony not only for our family but for our entire church as they had a front row seat to it all!
Now, when I sit down with someone who is broken and hurting, I can say I have been there. I know what that season of suffering looks like. And because I can relate, people are more open to listening to me. I have a stronger platform to tell them that God is faithful and He will sustain them.
Pastor, are you in a season of limping through life right now, feeling like David when he penned Psalm 13, “Lord, how long will You forget me? How long will You look the other way?” If you are, let me encourage you in a few things:
- Practice what you’ve been preaching. Let your church family see you walk out what you’ve counseled them to do.
- Vent vertically. Be like David and tell God how you feel. Just make sure you land where you can say, “God, I’m going to trust You. I know You hear me.”
- Offer the sacrifice of praise. Worship ushers in the presence of God. In His presence is fullness of joy. The joy of the Lord is your strength. You know the scriptures.
Remember that when you’re strong, you can resist the enemy. When you resist the enemy, he has to flee. And when he flees, you win! If you want to win, take these three points to heart. Trust the Lord. He will give you the strength to stand until the answer to your prayer comes. He will see you through victoriously!
This blog was created using content from the webinar From Limping to Leading.
