There aren’t many things that scare me. But there is one thing I have been terrified of for the last 25 years.
Don’t laugh. I’m not the only one who feels this way. A Harvard study found that approximately 40% of people had this fear.
What is the fear?
Dentophobia
What is dentophobia? Dentophobia is an intense and irrational fear of dentists, dental procedures, or the dental office. That means 40% of people are scared to go to the dentist!
I was one of those people. Why?
When I was younger, I had a dental technician who was rude, abrasive, and caused my gums to bleed. She wouldn’t listen to my concerns, told me I didn’t take care of my teeth, and made me feel unheard.
She was, what I would say, unkind.
What did her unkindness do? It created a fear within me. I didn’t want to go to the dentist. In fact, it took me 25 years to go back. And that was only because of an intense pain in one of my molars.
When I finally went back to the dentist, my attitude toward them changed. Why? Because the dentist I went to was kind.
Kindness Goes A Long Way
A few months ago, I began to experience excruciating pain in one of my molars. The pain was so bad that I couldn’t sleep or open my mouth to eat. For days.
My wife cajoled me into trying her dentist. She said the experience would be a lot better than what I had experienced in the past. And it was.
Why?
Because everyone there was kind. The people in the dental office saw my fear, they understood why, and treated me with kindness.
The dentist treated my symptoms. Now, I’m pain-free. And a lot less scared of the dentist.
I believe we can learn a lot from this dental experience and apply it to our leadership. What can we do to lead better through kindness?
Listen to your team:
Take the time to listen to your team members and their concerns. Hear them out.
They all have different experiences. Those experiences impact how they see you, the team, and the organization.
When you listen, you get to know and understand them. You can empathize with their experiences.
Reassure them:
You’ve heard your people. Now you need to reassure them.
Tell them you understand them. Let them know if you’ve been in similar situations. And tell them that you got through it and helped others who went through something similar.
You can help them know that they can make it through, grow, and continue growing by reassuring them.
Fix the issue gently:
The dentist listened and reassured me. The final thing he did was to fix the issue. He issued antibiotics and a referral for a root canal. He knew these two things would resolve the problem altogether.
Once you’ve listened to and reassured your team, you can begin addressing the issues at hand. It may be a challenging work assignment, workplace strife, or something else entirely.
But you’ve begun the kindness journey with them. You can show them kindness and work through the issues.
You can be the proverbial bull in a china shop. Or you can be a kind and gentle leader who learns to empathize with your team members and guide them through their challenges gently.
I want to encourage you today to choose kindness.
