“How to Have Better Conversations about Politics” is written by Joe Terrell, a Millennial and member of Carey’s content team. He lives with his wife and two cats in Colorado Springs, Colorado.
Here it goes again.
You’re at home, or work, or out with friends.
And then someone,
a family member,
co-worker,
acquaintance,
makes a comment about a current event or a particular social issue.
Maybe it’s hurtful, ill-informed, hopelessly biased, or downright degrading,
but nonetheless, you can’t let it go. So, you open your mouth and fire back.
Before you know it, you’re engaged in a frustrating battle of wills.
The conversation ends with both of you flustered, angry, and nowhere near close to reconciling the matter at hand.
This has happened to me too many times for me to count.
I knew I had to find a way to have better conversations with people with whom I disagree – especially in today’s politically-charged cultural atmosphere. Therefore, I’ve developed ten principles that have helped me navigate thorny political conversations and even changed some people’s minds on difficult issues.
I hope you find them helpful and encouraging.
The Psychology of Right and Wrong
In her 2011 TED Talk, Kathryn Schulz asks her audience a very interesting question:
“How does it feel to be wrong?”
In the darkened auditorium, a few brave souls answer her question aloud:
“Dreadful.”
“Thumbs down.”
“Embarrassing.”
I think a lot of us would probably answer the same way. The words “shamed,” “annoyed,” and “discouraged” come to my mind.
However, Schulz quickly delivers a devastating and insightful twist.
The words the audience members used to describe how it feels to be wrong are actually words used to describe the feeling of realizing you are wrong.
And that’s because being wrong feels just like being right until you discover otherwise.
The first couple of principles focus on what you can do before a hard conversation in order to acknowledge your own weaknesses and blind spots.
Being wrong feels just like being right until you discover otherwise.
Before we start, I want to note that these principles mainly apply to face-to-face interactions. In a lot of ways, social media can be a great way to connect with people, but I truly believe having politically-charged conversations via social media is a fool’s errand and hurts more than it helps.
Principle #1: You are not an expert on anything (and if you are, you’re probably not arguing about it).
There is a good reason you don’t see experts in a particular field of study duking it out on online message boards and internet forums: An honest pursuit of knowledge results in humility, not self-righteousness indignation.
And this is because the more you learn about a topic, the more you understand how much more there is to know about a topic.
Let me pull this band-aid off real quick: Simply by being human, you are far less knowledgeable, rational, competent, and objective than your ego wants you to believe.
However, our Ego Protection Drive would like us to believe the exact opposite.
The “Ego Protection Drive” is our brain’s attempt to rescue us from feeling embarrassed or looking stupid. It will go out of its way to focus on information that confirms your beliefs while ignoring information that challenges them.
Simply by being human, you are far less knowledgeable, rational, competent, and objective than your ego wants you to believe.
No one is unbiased. There is not a single belief in your heart or idea in your head that hasn’t been dramatically influenced by your upbringing, environment, and community.
And that’s okay.
Acknowledging your personal biases and limitations is the first step toward a constructive dialogue.
“How to Have Better Conversations about Politics” is written by Joe Terrell, a Millennial and member of Carey’s content team. He lives with his wife and two cats in Colorado Springs, Colorado.
Here it goes again.
You’re at home, or work, or out with friends.
And then someone,
a family member,
co-worker,
acquaintance,
makes a comment about a current event or a particular social issue.
Maybe it’s hurtful, ill-informed, hopelessly biased, or downright degrading,
but nonetheless, you can’t let it go. So, you open your mouth and fire back.
Before you know it, you’re engaged in a frustrating battle of wills.
The conversation ends with both of you flustered, angry, and nowhere near close to reconciling the matter at hand.
This has happened to me too many times for me to count.
I knew I had to find a way to have better conversations with people with whom I disagree – especially in today’s politically-charged cultural atmosphere. Therefore, I’ve developed ten principles that have helped me navigate thorny political conversations and even changed some people’s minds on difficult issues.
I hope you find them helpful and encouraging.
The Psychology of Right and Wrong
In her 2011 TED Talk, Kathryn Schulz asks her audience a very interesting question:
“How does it feel to be wrong?”
In the darkened auditorium, a few brave souls answer her question aloud:
“Dreadful.”
“Thumbs down.”
“Embarrassing.”
I think a lot of us would probably answer the same way. The words “shamed,” “annoyed,” and “discouraged” come to my mind.
However, Schulz quickly delivers a devastating and insightful twist.
The words the audience members used to describe how it feels to be wrong are actually words used to describe the feeling of realizing you are wrong.
And that’s because being wrong feels just like being right until you discover otherwise.
The first couple of principles focus on what you can do before a hard conversation in order to acknowledge your own weaknesses and blind spots.
Being wrong feels just like being right until you discover otherwise.
Before we start, I want to note that these principles mainly apply to face-to-face interactions. In a lot of ways, social media can be a great way to connect with people, but I truly believe having politically-charged conversations via social media is a fool’s errand and hurts more than it helps.
Principle #1: You are not an expert on anything (and if you are, you’re probably not arguing about it).
There is a good reason you don’t see experts in a particular field of study duking it out on online message boards and internet forums: An honest pursuit of knowledge results in humility, not self-righteousness indignation.
And this is because the more you learn about a topic, the more you understand how much more there is to know about a topic.
Let me pull this band-aid off real quick: Simply by being human, you are far less knowledgeable, rational, competent, and objective than your ego wants you to believe.
However, our Ego Protection Drive would like us to believe the exact opposite.
The “Ego Protection Drive” is our brain’s attempt to rescue us from feeling embarrassed or looking stupid. It will go out of its way to focus on information that confirms your beliefs while ignoring information that challenges them.
Simply by being human, you are far less knowledgeable, rational, competent, and objective than your ego wants you to believe.
No one is unbiased. There is not a single belief in your heart or idea in your head that hasn’t been dramatically influenced by your upbringing, environment, and community.
And that’s okay.
Acknowledging your personal biases and limitations is the first step toward a constructive dialogue.
