There’s something about the tickling of our ears that we love. When bosses, employees, or spouses tell us just how great we are, we soak those words of praise right up. It’s like a salve for the soul.
Except when the praise isn’t genuine. Except when the people around us are being yes people to gain our good graces.
Have you ever been around a yes person? The higher up the corporate ranks you climb, the more yes people will find you. They see you as a way to climb higher themselves.
Not everyone who tells you yes is a yes person. They may agree with what you have to say or what you’re doing. Those people are fine.
The ones you need to watch out for are the ones riding your coattails, trying to coast off your success, or make you happy for the sake of a raise.
Those yes people are dangerous.
4 Ways To Get Rid Of Yes People
I was recently listening to Over The Influence by Joanna “JoJo” Levesque. JoJo is a singer and actress. You may have seen her in the films Aquamarine or RV (with Robin Williams). She was a rising child star in both the music and movie industries.
In her memoir, JoJo recounts how the people around her became yes people. They would tell her what she wanted to hear. However, that didn’t lead to her success. It hindered her career.
Finding yourself surrounded by yes people happens not only in the music and entertainment industries. The corporate world is full of yes people and leaders who long to listen to their cool, sweet-sounding, smooth words.
We’ve got to be ready for the yes people when they come. We’ve got to be able to rebuff their advances. So, how do you do that? Follow these four ways to remove yes people from your orbit.
1. Find truth speakers:
Truth speakers are few and far between. Especially for leaders. Why? Because people are scared of your influence. They know you hold the keys to their future. More importantly, you hold the keys to their family’s future. If you give them the pink slip, it’s not only they who suffer. Their family suffers until they find another job.
So, when you hear someone speaking the truth, even if it hurts, keep them around. Don’t let them go because their words sting. Pull them closer. Find out why they said what they did. Then, add the truth speaker to your inner circle.
2. Model what you want:
The people on your team will model what they see. Do you cowtow around other leaders in your organization? Do you say yes to appease others? Even your direct reports?
Then you’re modeling incorrect behavior. Your actions are why you’re finding yourself surrounded by yes people.
Break the habit of people-pleasing. Stop saying ‘yes’ or ‘that’s great’ to everything that comes your way.
Find ways to say no more often. Find ways to offer up dissent.
The more you do these things, the more your team members will feel comfortable doing so.
3. Be kind when receiving negative feedback:
Hearing the negative things you’re doing can hurt. Yet, we must be willing to listen to them if we don’t want ‘yes people’ on our teams.
The more you listen when others critique you, the more open they’ll be to sharing the truth. They know you won’t snap back when you don’t get the news or answers you want.
4. Acknowledge opposing opinions:
If you want people to stop saying yes or agreeing with you all the time, you must be willing to acknowledge opposing opinions or views. What does that look like?
- Bring up opposing ideas from people within your organization. Point out their valid criticisms and opinions
- Share when someone with a differing opinion has influenced you
- Let others know why you changed course on a decision
- Thank people when they share with you something you may not agree with
The more we do the four things above, the more we will find ourselves challenged. It’s going to sting for a minute. Yet, you’re going to find yourself free from the yes people in your life. In their place, you’re going to find yourself surrounded by people who want the best for you and are willing to tell you the truth.
Isn’t that better than hearing ‘yes’ all the time?
