I once heard a story about a couple of travelers. Each was on their own journey, but they ran across the same man. The man asked the first traveler what kind of people he could expect in the town from which the traveler had just come.
The first traveler shared an exciting story. People in the town were welcoming, encouraging, and warm. He believed you couldn’t find a better group of people. Their kindness and generosity blew him away.
When the man asked the second traveler, he received a different account. The second traveler told the man to expect rude people. They showed no respect and treated everyone poorly. The town was to be avoided.
The man went to the town with the expectations given by the first man. What he found was a great town that he enjoyed. People were welcoming, encouraging, and willing to help out a stranger in their midst. His stay there was fantastic.
What did we have here? A tale of two travelers. One who saw and expected good from everywhere he went. He went in expecting the people of the town to be great. They were. The second traveler had a different mindset. He expected people to be rude, angry, and inhospitable. That’s what he found.
You Get What You Expect
Life will regularly give you more of what you expect. If you are training for a sport and expect to have a poor finish, you likely will. If you go into marriage expecting you or your spouse to cheat, there’s a high likelihood one of you will.
On the other hand, if you go in with high expectations, positive expectations, you will find more of what you expect. Expect the people around you to be kind? You’re going to find kind people. Think you’re going to do well because you’re fully prepared? Your outcome will be better than if you expected failure.
We get what we expect. Why? I believe it’s because of our Reticular Activating System. What is the Reticular Activating System?
Google says the Reticular Activating System is a network of nerves located in the brainstem that plays a crucial role in regulating wakefulness, sleep-wake transitions, and alertness. It acts as a filter for sensory information, determining what information reaches conscious awareness and influencing attention and focus. Broken down in layperson’s terms, the Reticular Activating System makes us notice what we’re focused on.
So…
We’re going to see kind people all around us if we expect to find kind people in the world. If we expect to find a world that is out to get us, we’ll find that as well. Or you might see the world as a place where you can excel. The more you expect this, the more you’re going to find opportunities to do what you’ve always desired.
Stop looking at the world in a negative light. It’s not out to get you… Unless that’s what you’re expecting. Instead, look at the world as a place of opportunities. Of wonder. Of joy.
As you shift your focus from the dangers of the world to the possibilities of the world, you’re going to find a much kinder, gentler, friendlier place for you and yours.
In the end, you get what you expect.
