Running a business, leading a team, or managing relationships may sometimes be hard and challenging, but they should energize you or at least feel meaningful and purposeful. This distinction between difficult and burdensome has guided me now for years. I invite you to take note of the key distinctions between activities that are hard and those that are burdensome:
- You’re working hard and you’re tired, but deep down, you’re energized by the work. When something is hard or challenging but you are energized by it, that can be a sign that you are right in the midst of your sweet spot.
- You feel stretched but not broken. Difficult tasks and situations stretch you. They empower you to learn and grow and become more of the person you are meant to be.
- You are at peace even in the midst of the chaos. Some seasons of life are very difficult, even chaotic, and yet you remain calm. You are at peace.
- There is purpose in the pain. Difficult tasks and situations fulfill a purpose. Burdensome ones distract you from your purpose. Demanding but purposeful situations can transform you, give you clarity, strengthen relationships, and mature you so that you are better prepared for the future. They lead you toward your purpose.
How Strong Is Your Why?
When international track champion and four-time Olympian Chaunté Lowe combined her passion for track and field with her vision for getting to the Olympics, she relied on an underlying motivation that drove her discipline when the training was grueling. “I wanted to get out of poverty. I didn’t want that to be my reality ever again,” she remembers. “And as a teenager, when I looked all around me at the people who got out of poverty, the thing I saw they had in common was an education.” Chaunté knew that excelling at track and winning state and national competitions in high school would get the attention of colleges who could give her scholarships and a ticket to the education that would get her to the goal.
Reaching her objective was sometimes painful. Because of how focused her coach was, training was demanding, and he expected consistency. Practices were grueling, often leaving her muscles burning, and she says she didn’t always feel like going. Some of her teammates skipped practice when things got hard. They gave up. But Chaunté says, “I made a decision. It’s going to hurt and I’m going to do it anyway.” She knew she’d be spending her time doing something whether or not she went to practice. She might as well work toward something that would get her what she wanted from life—the chance to build a foundation of financial security that could unfold with the benefit of a good college education.
Chaunté intentionally used her adaptive skills, choosing thoughts that strengthened her—such as knowing she’d do the work even when it was painful. And she used those adaptive skills to work toward the protective resource of attaining a college education that would help her build the financial security she didn’t have growing up. Purpose fueled her perseverance. And her perseverance paid off. Among the many opportunities she earned was a scholarship to Georgia Tech, one of the top colleges in the nation. Chaunté graduated with a degree in economics the same year that she earned a bronze medal at the Olympics—her second of four consecutive Olympic appearances. Her why was the driver that earned her both the degree and the medal.
Zero In on Your Why
In your biggest battles, it is so important that you articulate your purpose. Zero in on your why. Purpose is like a compass that will point you in the right direction and then fuel your journey. On days when I felt like giving up on my vision as a writer, speaker, and entrepreneur, purpose always kept me going. For the first ten years of my journey in the work I do now, I often second-guessed myself. The work was often hard, and I wasn’t making the money I’d hoped to make. I daydreamed about where I might be financially if I’d stuck with public relations and climbed the corporate ladder instead of pursuing the lonely, adventurous journey of business ownership. On occasion, I even perused job hunting sites and entertained the idea of abandoning ship on my dreams. But purpose always seemed to gently guide me back onto my path.
Eventually, I articulated that purpose so clearly that the second-guessing stopped. I realized that no amount of money would be worth abandoning what I believe I was put on the planet to do. Whatever I earned, I would learn to live on that, and I would have peace knowing that I was living life on my terms, doing exactly what I was called to do. I’d kept my living expenses relatively low for many years, and those choices essentially served as preventive measures that made it easier for me to keep persevering in my purpose long enough to finally begin to prosper.
Without a strong enough why, you’re more likely to give up in your hardest moments. Perseverance is challenging and takes discipline and a lot of energy. You’ll be repeatedly tempted to give up, and when that happens, deep down you’ll need an answer to this question: Why should I keep going? The answer is found in your personal mission.
To craft a personal mission statement:
1. Begin with active verbs describing what you want to do through your life: “My personal mission is to _________ and _________.” (Mine are create and enjoy, but you may want to choose more than two words.)
2. Then name the purpose, philosophy, cause, principle, or value that’s most important to you. (Mine is “a fulfilling, prosperous, and generous life.”)
3. Finally, choose the group or cause you desire to affect in a positive way. (Mine is to have a positive impact by inspiring “others” to also live well.)
You now have the recipe for your mission statement!
Those who persevere do so for a reason. They know their purpose and why they must persevere. That purpose fuels their perseverance. To be resilient, you must know if there is a greater purpose in persevering through your challenge, and if so, what that purpose is. Persevering for its own sake is not always wise, but persevering for a purpose brings meaningful results.
Adapted from Rules of Resilience: 10 Ways Successful People Get Better, Wiser, and Stronger by Valorie Burton, releasing in September 2025. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers.
