How can we, as pastors, build environments where spiritual sons and daughters say, “I love how my dad nurtured me and supported me”? How do we create environments where our brothers and sisters in the Lord say, “I love how the people in my world sharpen me and support me”?
As I grew up, I watched my parents make an effort to discover my passions and meet me there. Sometimes it was as basic as cheering me on in basketball. They did the same with my sisters and their different talents. They supported us, got involved with us, and were our biggest fans. It made a massive difference in my life.
Sometimes, they made a difference by teaching or correcting us. Many times, they just allowed life to teach us a lesson, or they allowed us to learn from others who were wise and had our ear at different stages of life. I think of my youth pastor specifically. I’m sure my dad had told me things till he was blue in the face, but I couldn’t hear him. Then, my youth pastor would talk on it, and suddenly it registered.
Whether the leaders you’re parenting spiritually are young or more mature, I believe the same principles my parents used in making a lasting connection with me will be valuable to you. But let’s take a closer look at ways you can nurture trustworthy leaders.
- Focus on Their Spiritual Growth. When I look back, I see that every time God wanted me to level up as a leader, a pattern emerged. He always did it through people, through partnerships with individuals like the Graffs and leaders like those here at Significant Church. They refreshed my spirit. They supplied what I was lacking. We all have blind spots and areas of weakness that need to be strengthened. We can nurture leaders by getting involved in their lives and helping them develop the spiritual disciplines they need to better navigate the road ahead.
- Focus on Teaching Them Strategic Thinking. Planning is key. You need good counsel and strategy to win battles. You need that more than strength! Pastor Jim Graff always recommends a book by Ed Stetzer and Mike Dodson called Comeback Churches. In this book, they studied more than three hundred churches that were stagnant for at least five years and then began growing through conversion growth, not transfer growth. It offers some valuable perspectives and strategies worth exploring.
I think Faith Family Church is a great model to consider. Our church gets so many great ideas from them. When our church hit a season of stagnation, we started praying and asking God what to do. We turned over every rock, so to say, to see if there was something we could do differently. Sometimes, it just felt like we were hit or miss in our attempts. But through a lot of prayer and searching, we found something called traction. That’s actually a business term and the title of a great book by Gino Wickman. The whole idea is that your church should have both a three-year and a ten-year goal/mission. Then, within those goals are things called “rocks,” which are milestones that occur every ninety days to move us toward our goals and serve as markers. It seems like a lot more structure at first, but it’s really helpful in moving the ministry toward its ultimate mission.
- Focus on Developing Their Communication Skills. Make sure that you’re sharing invaluable content. Help them find their best tone in a presentation. Show them how to make the information they want to share both meaningful and practical. I remember listening to the late Pastor Osteen preach when I was probably about twelve years old. Even at that age, I was amazed at how he captivated the whole room with such rich content. It was amazing. Pastor Jim told me that his father-in-law worked on being a master communicator. Even at around seventy-five, he was still rewatching his videos and looking for ways to improve his delivery of the Word. Becoming a great communicator is a lifelong discipline, and the leaders you’re investing in need to know what to look for and how to develop their skills.
- Focus on Growing Their Team-Building Skills. Many leaders struggle to be effective team players. That’s unfortunate because there’s a connection between coaching and caring. It reminds me of the old expression that people don’t know how much you know until they know how much you care. People know you care about them when you coach them, but if you become overly focused on the task at hand, they will feel devalued and unmotivated. You, Pastor, have to lead the way in developing their team-building skills by first being a team builder.
To truly grow your team, you must be a skilled vision caster. The world’s too busy to motivate people by commitment alone. That’s part of the reason so many churches are understaffed in terms of volunteer leaders. They’re being approached inefficiently.
I know that for some leaders, “recruitment” sounds like a dirty word. But think about Jesus. He was phenomenal at recruiting people. Look at how He went after His disciples and said, “Come, follow Me.” How do we encourage people to follow us? How can we train leaders to do the same? There is a mission that’s really big at hand, and we need all the help we can get. It’s not just about getting work done; it’s about advancing the Kingdom.
I often see pastors make the mistake of talking from the pulpit about how they need more volunteers for their youth or children’s ministry. But people don’t respond to need; they respond to vision. I’ve learned to change the way I share our recruitment opportunities. I now tell our church that we have a really cool situation at hand, and that’s that we’re growing, with more young families coming to the church. I connect it all back to our vision and encourage our members that they’re shaping the future generations of the church through their volunteerism. Then, they focus on the rewards and not the need, and it prompts others to get involved.
Pastor Jim once said that if we don’t help our churches care more about the people they’re serving than the programs they’re offering, we won’t have legitimate spiritual sons and daughters. As leaders, we have to spend time with people and help them recognize the issues in their hearts that are sabotaging their relationships. We must ebb and flow with the Spirit of God, challenging those who want to be challenged directly and softly developing those who were wounded by their parents and cannot handle a direct approach.
God is going to place people in your path whom you know He has called you to spiritually parent. What He’s called you to do is important. Just keep in mind that it’s the people more than the task that is of importance. I pray that God gives you wisdom, fresh vision, and a fresh dose of His grace as you step forward in nurturing trustworthy leaders in your congregation.
This blog was created using content from the webinar Nurturing Trustworthy Leaders.
