Leaders worry about stuff. I don’t mean that wring your hands, fretting and get sick to your stomach kind of worry. But the kind of natural focused concern about the things you care about.
Like we “worry” about our kids. Parents care, we just do. We want our kids to be safe, healthy and make good decisions. That’s normal, but not the best use of our emotional energy and spiritual capacity.
The bottom line is that worry isn’t helpful, productive, and rarely if ever changes anything.
There are common worries leaders experience such as:
- Worry about what other people think.
- Worry about what we can’t control.
- Worry about difficult decisions.
- Worry about finances.
- Worry about conflict and division.
- Worry about opposition or a confrontation.
- Worry about failing relationships.
Corrie Ten Boom said: “Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow, it empties today of its strength.” That is such good wisdom.
But on a practical level it doesn’t help to simply say “Don’t worry, it will all work out.” As leaders, we know that things work out when we work them out. It requires someone to be out front leading or someone to be working behind the scenes and always in partnership with God. That’s how it “all works out.”
A good attitude and optimistic thinking always helps, but It’s more complex than that.
Sometimes in an attempt to stop worrying we overthink, overreact and end up getting stuck in the state of worry. It’s like telling someone, “Don’t think about the pink elephant.” Guess what they will think of.
Conquering worry is connected to taking appropriate action. We’ll come back to that idea, but for the moment, lets focus on what’s happening when we trade worry for the sense of “At this point I really just don’t care.”
The emotion connected to “I don’t care” is a self-protection mechanism especially in cases of prolonged, unresolved or heightened worry. And rarely is it true, because you really do care, and that’s why that kind of thinking doesn’t work.
What is actually happening is that the worry has caused you to become overwhelmed, and you lose perspective in your thinking. The result is various forms of “I don’t care” are masking your honest emotions.
Essentially, worry is wasted emotion, and rethinking your circumstance is necessary.
In a leadership talk, John Maxwell asked the question, “Why worry?” Here’s what he said:
- 40% will never happen.
- 30% concerns old decisions that cannot be changed.
- 12% centers upon criticisms made by people who feel inferior.
- 10% is related to my health, which worsens when I worry.
- 8% are legitimate and can be met head on when I have eliminated pointless worries.
The beginning to overcoming worry is learning to discern the few that are genuinely worthy of your concern.
That leads us to the first step to remedy a legitimate concern.
1) Take appropriate action – identify the first step and take it.
Overcoming worry is a one step at a time process. Attempting to create a full plan isn’t helpful because identifying the “next step” is difficult to discern until you see how you are doing after the first step.
If there is nothing you can do about it, let it go. Stop losing sleep over it, and really let it go.
Letting it go isn’t easy, and that’s why rethinking your situation in such a way that you can get hold of the truth of the matter will help you immensely.
Focus on the healthy and productive things in your life, both at work and with family, focus your energy there. It’s essential that you keep moving in productive patterns. Don’t sit idle. If you focus your energy in productive ways, it’s amazing how the worrisome thoughts can be moved to the back of your mind and begin to fade.
- Pick up the phone.
- Make a decision.
- Have the conversation.
- Get some help.
Jesus said:
“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?”Matthew 6:25-27
2) Put your trust in the right place.
When the heat is on, and pressure is high, it’s not always easy to trust God, but that’s the most important time to trust Him! That’s when we need Him most.
That doesn’t always immediately remove or solve the issue; however, it definitely increases your peace and confidence! But, when you worry and don’t trust God, then by default, you are trusting in yourself.
But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.Matthew 6:33-34
When we trust God, instead of worry, we increase our faith.
As your faith increases, your influence increases because your faith translates to hope as you lead.
People are drawn to hope, but hesitate when they sense a worried demeanor.
3) Give yourself permission to get some rest.
Sometimes we overcomplicate things. When we overthink the situation, we become overwhelmed and exhausted.
You might just need to take a break and get some rest. Rest is different than sitting idle. Sitting idle is when you know you should be active, but you aren’t.
Rest is intentional.
Your body needs time to rest and replenish, and specifically your mind does as well.
Leaders exercise a significant amount of “brain” work and your mind rests through a variety of ways such as:
- Sleep
- Exercise
- Change of pace (do something different)
- Laughter
- Meaningful conversation (not conflict oriented)
When you have allowed your brain to “breathe” you can think more clearly. You can gain a clearer perspective about the truth of your circumstance and either let go of the worry or take action and do something about it.
4) If you get stuck, talk with a professional.
There are some events and seasons in our lives when we face something that is just too much to tackle alone. It happens. That’s the right time to do some homework to find the right professional therapist to talk with. It’s refreshingly helpful and emotionally productive.
There is no need to journey through worry alone. There are those who care and have the ability to be of great assistance.
