The Pain of Rejection and How to Overcome It


There is nothing that hurts deeper than an attack on your identity.  It goes to the core.  Are there ways to pull that “stinger out of your soul?”

We are living in days when people speak freely about your background, your family, and your career.  They mock, ridicule, and blaspheme your character.  By the time they finish, your inward identity feels “corrupted.”

You CAN recover.  Christ is your identity.  No one has the power to change your identity.

Try These Methods To Recover From “Identity Assassination”:

Respond, don’t react.

  • Your soul is so bruised it wants to react.  It wants to give an equal blow to those who have “punched” you.  
  • Reactions seldom work.  Quick, passionate retaliatory words are things that don’t go away.  They exacerbate the lies told about you.
  • RESPOND. Respond with love.  Respond with forgiveness.  Respond with poise, with grace, with character.  Respond from your identity showing truth (for lies) and love (for hatred).

Stop playing the recording.

  • Our minds record the moment they spoke those hurtful words.  We recall it or read it over and over.  For months or even years, we let the painful memory of those attacks re-live.
  • Press stop.  You are giving them power over your identity.  Turn your pain and rejection over to the One who loves you even in your imperfections.  
  • Let His love become a river flowing out of your soul toward that person.

Find your friends.

  • When we suffer rejection, we tend to find people who will sympathize with us.  They encourage us to get revenge, to take drastic action.  BAD IDEA.
  • Find friends who are objective.  They are willing to be loyal to you but also willing to tell you the truth.  Perhaps there is 1% of truth in all the talk.  
  • A good friend will listen, sympathize, and help you be objective about yourself.

Believe in your identity.

  • Don’t assume the identity the slanderer has described you as.  
  • If your heart is pure and true, relax.  Give it some time.  I’ve seen vicious people come full circle and come back around actually needing my help!
  • When they do come back, prove to them your true worth by doing what Jesus said to do:  “Love your enemies.  Pray for those who despitefully use you.”
  • Love is His identity shining out of you.

Prepare for victory!

  • God heard their slander.  He sees your response that is patient, forgiving, and kind.  You’ve passed His test.
  • Joseph’s brothers rejected him but ended up kneeling before him as the second-in-command in Egypt.  
  • He has a mighty victory just ahead.  Rejection is the tactic of the enemy to keep you off the battlefield.

Don’t look back to their rejection but look forward to your victory.  Your attackers may want your autograph when God makes you famous!

After all, rejection hurts.  Identity slander is devastating.  You WILL recover if you follow these five steps.



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